Bitch For A Day

Me and my thoughtless mouth. Boy, don’t I wish I had a bit more tact installed in my genetic makeup sometimes.

***

Setting: Upper floor, CS Café

Bitch (aka me): Asa baba si M, meh kasamang kaklase. Bibili daw ng donuts or something. Dalhin ko sila dito?

X, sitting sprawled in her chair like she doesn’t have a care in the world, looks up at me.

X (aka self-proclaimed Master of the Posers): Sige lang.

I walk back down to M and company. Smile like you mean it. Plan A is to bring them up for a hello then go. Mainly to avoid as much awkwardness as possible. I never like playing intermediary between two groups.

Bitch: Sa taas si X. Gusto n’yo umakyat?

A very short, very awkward pause.

So much for plan A.

I look to M, he is after all a friend of X’s. NR. As in insipid equals facework. A bit evasive, too, I think. Like something goes restless in his mind. I kinda figure he doesn’t wanna go.

Time for Plan B. Plan B is to say whatever shit that comes to mind.

Bitch: Marami sila sa taas eh, baka di tayo kasya. Sama na muna ko sa inyo mag-donut.

I’m good with white lying most times.

We walk. They eat. I’m not a fan.

After bugging ate tindera of donuts and a few random LOLs, I go back to where X is. I tell her about how M was a bit on the unresponsive side a while ago when I asked them, him specifically, to come up see her. They had a bit of a fall out earlier this semester; I think she’d like to know. Then, she goes all agitated. Score one for my big mouth.

We get up, still talking about M. She throws in a few threats of what she’d do to him if fate brings their paths across again.

X: Naku, wag lang nya ko aayaing mag-lunch. Tatablahin ko talaga sya.

The best comeback I could manage for that is a nervous laugh.

I try to digress from the topic, but fate is already spinning its wheels. And I have to say it’s got awfully great timing. Awful being the operative word.

We cross the Falcon Bridge and there he is. M. Damn.

I smile a big one at him.

Now, don’t run off misjudging me. I do like the guy. I spent my (minute) part in the previous conversation with X defending M. Or at least I tried to. I just kept my mouth shut mostly as X can be a piece of work when she wants to prove a point.

Anyway, M calls out to X, but X just moves along like she doesn’t hear a thing. Talk about MYOB.

I shake my head to X once we’re out of sight.

Bitch: Dapat sinoli mo na yung calculator nya kanina.

I meant it as a joke. M has lent her his calculator weeks ago and I keep teasing her to return it herself but she always refuses pointedly.

She digs it out of her bag and I start to panic. She makes the motion of going back but I tug at her bag and don’t let go. Score another one for my tactlessness.

I give her an incredulous look.

Bitch: You’re not serious? Uwi na tayo.

I pull at her bag but she doesn’t budge from her spot.

Bitch: Tara, uwi na tayo, next year mo na yan ibalik.

X: Ngayon na. Isosoli ko na to.

I sense a tantrum coming and with big eyes, I shake my head to her.

Bitch: No. *toot*, ano ka ba, blood pressure mo.

X: O, ayan, ikaw magbigay.

She tries to hand me the calculator but I say no.

Bitch: Joke lang yung kanina!

X: Pag di mo to binalik, ako magbabalik sa kanya.

Her voice is calm but she looks half determined and sorta half crazy.

Bitch: What? No!

I take the calculator. I get creeps thinking what would happen if these two meet now. M doesn’t strike me as the vocally passionate type, but still, I’m almost positive people will have something to look at if I let them settle their shit in Falcon Bridge, no less! especially now that X is hovering frighteningly close to her fight-like-a-real-bitch mode. By this time, my adrenaline is running around like a madman.

Bitch: Lammo, uwi na lang tayo! Ibibigay ko sa kanya to next year, promise!

X: Hindi. Ngayon na.

Bitch: Hinde, uwi na tayo. Next week isosoli ko na sya! Hahanapin ko si *toot* at ibabalik ko na sya, promise.

X: Akin na. Ako na magbibigay.

Bitch: NO! *toot*, don’t do this to me. You’re putting me on a spot!

X: I am not! Akin na, ako magbibigay.

I hide it behind my back and try a different approach. With what I hope is strong conviction, I act like I’m exasperated at her for being so silly to want what she wanted right that moment.

Bitch: Hinde. We’ll go home na. Ngayon na.

She just looks at me with no apparent expression.

Sigh. I give. I don’t think I was very much convincing anyway.

Bitch: Come on, *toot*, do this for me. Let’s just go home. Please?

She stops a second.

X: Nanggigigil lang ako sa kanya. Masusuntok ko talaga sya!

She sounded a bit desperate saying that. I look at her and I just know I didn’t anymore have a choice.

Bitch: Fine.

I go back to M in the bridge and hand him the calculator. He knows something is up and I hate being the one to talk to him about it. I’m no good with confrontations. At least with those that involve those wearisome little things, emotions they call 'em.

M is all confused the whole time.

I cut the visit short and give him an apologetic smile. I really think he’s a good guy, you know. I’m just still unsure what caused all this falling out. Maybe it was a whole series of misunderstanding for both parties. I don’t know, but I have this ridiculous question of why can’t everybody just get along?

I do know though which part of the equation I stand on.

I sneak up behind X and slap my hands on her shoulders heavily. I give her a dreary, tired smile.

Bitch: I was so your bitch today.