sino ba naman kasi ang makakalimot na may poknat ka sa ulo

Nung huli kong pagpapagupit:

Barbero: Anong gupit mo?
Ako: Ganun po (sabay turo sa katabing customer na katatayo lang at super clean cut ang gupit.)
Barbero: (tingin sa buhok ko, waring nanghihinayang) Sure ka? Ang iksi nun.

In
farness,
may
basis
naman
ang
 pagtatanong 
ni
kuya.

Before

After

Ako: Oo, kuya. Maiba lang, hehe.
Barbero: OK. May poknat ka ba?
Ako: (blank stare kay Kuya) Ano yung poknat, kuya?
Barbero: Yung, ano, peklat sa ulo. Yung di na tinutubuan ng buhok.
Ako: Ahhh. Wala naman po.
...after 10 mins ng panggugupit...
Barbero: O, bat may poknat ka dito? (sabay hawak sa may likod ng ulo ko)
Ako: Eh? (hinawakan ko din. Dafuq, bat ako may poknat sa ulo???)
.
.
.
Ako: Ah! Tama, kuya, gumulong pala ko nung nagba-bike last year, haha, nakalimutan ko, sorry.
Barbero: (sa isip isip nya siguro, "ay, tanga lang?")

on dying

                     It is good to die before one has done anything deserving death.

-Anaxandrides

So my boss's cousin died last Saturday, god rest his soul. Pneumonia caused by meningitis, the doctors said - something that I had to look up because I'm just no good with medical terms. The guy was 22, barely out of college, and from what I gather, was far from sickly.  So aside from the whole water in the brain thing, what's got me stunned most was how fast things went down. Feverish for two weeks, coma for the next few days, and dead by Saturday. Where's the fair in that? I mean, how is it that somebody as strapping (I've seen his pictures) as a 22-year-old could end up in a morgue in less than a month without being in a brutal accident of some sort? How scary is it that the same things could happen to anyone that you care about and you won't be able to do something to stop it? They say that the lord giveth and the lord taketh away. How selfish he must then be. 

if you give me the chance

I'll be the man who would memorize your favorite song

just to sing it to you when you're feeling down.

All you have to do is tell me what it is. 

Robot Racism

E panu na kung robot pala ko? Tisk. Robot racism.

eymber

may email ang admin na ganito

RubyS: reminder, may lunch tayo mamaya, baka bumili kayo.

MaxY: ay oo nga, anu kaya ang food?

PaulC: Eymber daw e.

MaxY: ha?

PaulC: Eymber, yung lagi nilang sineserve.

RubyS: hahahaha, eymber! so malamang paleybok yun!

in a world where everybody is a superhero...

there is no need for fire exits.

what happens if you get scared half to death twice?

boom. you do the math.

So, yeah, I have been posting random quips over at google+ since I've had an account (and no, I'm not part of the "first" batch, whatever that means). None of them are original, of course, since it has been a habit of mine to copy down a quip from wherever I come across one on the net that merited being, well, copied down. Wily, yes? One memorable quote I stumbled upon is: To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. This line spoke SO MUCH truth that I decided to live by it. Starting with sharing it in google+; the fact that it was authorless when I found it online did not stop me at all. Somebody in the comments section asked where I get these one-liners (cause apparently these rouse insecurity in them haha), and I was about to write a real snappy comeback but somebody neat me to it when they said "Steven Wright". I was like, Steven who? Good thing google is my cousin, and he introduced me to who Steven Wright just is -- the owner of the mouth where words loved most by the wittiest of us come out. So, yeah. Thanks Steven Wright for being you. (And thanks google for being related to me, I'll never disown you.)

max taking offense

to you who say people who keep posting nonsense on social networking sites should just keep their nonsense to themselves, there's actually a quick and no-nonsense solution to keep from being annoyed senseless by all the nonsense: STOP JOINING NETWORKING SITES. otherwise, you can go off yourselves. please.

yeah, +1 me, baby

Google+ ::: just trying it out. seems not much people has gotten in yet. i have been a Google supporter since like forever so, yay. :D

erratic

adj.
1. irregular in performance, behaviour, or attitude; inconsistent and unpredictable

mercurial. fickle. a walking mood-swing.

erratic [ɪˈrætɪk]

two letters away from erotic.

practice mode

so yeah, max is supposed to be in practice mode right now. super.

scotty's accent is way annoying but whatever

just, some random shite:

* scotty's accent is way annoying but whatever i like him still. but sometimes it's more fun listening to disenchanted kingdom - cause those guys are just really entertaining. have you heard their latest ad? total gag haha :D

* i just saw mark manahan!

* i wonder if i am considered by others as a "fair weather friend." it would totally suck if they do. sigh.

* what's all the deal about charice and botox? people sure like to blow things up. and most of them aren't even photographers.

* people my age are ACTUALLY HAVING KIDS. damn. i don't think i have an opinion on that.

* i'm watching deathnote again. L is my wallpaper. the story is just awesome, i wish i could write something of that caliber someday. second sigh.

* my boss is so bait. no, that's not me sucking up.

* trend micro is the awesomest company ever. now, that's me sucking up.

* i wanna go to london. ate cel is kakainggit with all her photos. i totally TOTALLY would pick up the accent if i get there. it'll be bloody smashing.

* i wanna experience the 13-hour night shift because of the money.
because of all the bakasyon you get.
because i think it would be really interesting. :)

* paolo nutini... awww....

this is the time to say: "haist..."

wala daw kuryente samin sa pampanga bukas from 7am - 5pm. again, from 7-friggin-in-the-morning-am to 5-friggin-in-the-afternoon-pm. buti tinext ako ni tita ko sa pampanga dahil kamusta naman yun diba kung umuwi ako for the weekend, which i normally do, at buong araw lang na nagpapaypay ng sarili dahil ako, kahit umupo lang dyan at walang gawin e nagpapawis na parang sumali sa run for fun. electricity in our place sucks on so many levels. at naka-schedule talaga na mawawalan. the whole effing day. i can never see that happening in manila. ever. whatever. gtg.

yep, you're right, i've always wanted to talk with someone named alan walker on the phone

that, i just did.

de-quoting

ignorance is bliss.

yeah, i don't believe this for one minute.

ignorance is bliss. you just don't know it yet.

now this i can definitely agree to. i mean, you can't truly appreciate not knowing until you actually start knowing. something that you are not aware of doesn't hurt you until you become painfully aware of it that you wish you hadn't been so hell bent on finding out what was going on. so yes, the quote is lacking it's most REAL part: ignorance is bliss. you just don't know it yet.

holler if you're getting me.

stupid places for rice refill and elmer's glue that smells extra good

The other day, I hit the mall right after sitting a job application exam. It finished at about noon so I figured I'd go munch and while away the hours before a job interview I was scheduled to have at 3:00 that same day (yes, at another company about 45 minutes away, and, yes, I like a hectic schedule.) I ordered some sort of misono-teriyaki dish at the foodcourt that came with free rice refill. I was thinking jackpot until I got my tray of food and set out to look for a seat nearby. Alas, nearby translated to 15 rows of seats away from the Japanese store where I ordered. The place was just damn too full of hungry people. I took my seat and never got up for refill. So much for jackpot.

I knew I had a lot of time to spare so I took dainty, dragging bites. Which, by the way, sucked gruesomely because I hated eating by myself. At 2:00, I decided I had time to dash to the supermarket to get new toiletries before heading out.

Two days laters, as I was grooming for (yet again) another interview, I opened the tub of clay I bought to put on my hair and... well, it wan't clay at all. The label said Fix Strong Hold and nothing else. I musta confused it with their clay product because they had the same packaging, but damn, this one didn't even say if it was gel, or wax, or what. I sighed and put the product in my hair anyway and it felt somewhat stupid. Like I just swabbed my hair with Elmer's Clear Glue that smelled extra nice. Maybe next time I should read the labels on stuff before actually buying them, no?

I'm fragile. I'm breakable. I'm your mother's fucking china.

Wuss. Pussy. Chicken-effing-shit.

I have never been called these words but with the way I've been dealing recently, "I deserve to be" is nothing short of an understatement. That is a huge enough deal coming from me.

Whoever started the saying "When god closes a door, he opens another" is a fucking moron. It's either that or god hates me (and since I'm pretty sure I don't believe in god, I'm sticking with the moron story.) Why? Because that last archetype of a door was kicked shut on face, broke my nose, and left me in a futile search for that promised ajar one. So far, all I have been knocking onto and into are walls. Tall, solid, constricting. Walls.

My head smarts. My eyes are hateful geysers. I am like a chibi manga person with a crestfallen expression that's less cuter and more piercingly real. I'm being followed by this hovering dark cloud and people not only see it but actually feel it, emanating from me, and I hate it because I can't get rid of it, but then I don't wanna get rid of it, and now I'm just ten kinds of depressing.

My friend had advised me to look forward to the future but I can't. I can't find that feeling that would make me want to. I'm too busy wallowing. I like wallowing. Because wallowing is good to me. I'm sorry but I took the liberty of bulleting the reasons of that:

* Wallowing is solitary and draining and does not require a schedule for tomorrow.
* Wallowing lets you miss class for a week and never throws questions that make you squirm in guilt about it.
* It doesn't scold you to quit moping or say that you're only option is to move on with your life.
* It is never gonna ask you if everything's alright because it already knows it isn't. It fucking isn't.

That's why wallowing is my friend.

Lord, I need therapy. More than once I rode the bus and thought that if there ever was a crash and I died - I wouldn't care. I'd not want lots of others to be harmed in the crash so I would prefer it if the impact was on my side of bus. (Oh, fuck. Writing this and just plain thinking about it are two totally different experiences.) Correct me if I'm mistaken but I think that my train of thought reaching the point where I even picked a place to sit on the theoretical bus qualifies me as psychotic bordering on suicidal. I do need a shrink, then. If only my family could afford it. If only I could own up to it. Why do I have to be the person that disintegrates at the first signs of failure? Why must I be him who loses determination when blocked with negativity? Him who gives up the fight as easily as butter to a knife? Yes, I'm fragile, I'm breakable. I'm your mother's fucking china.

wag paghinayangan ang slurpeeng natapon

nabili akong slurpee. may computer print-out sign na nakapaskil sa mismong slurpee machine:

Pakiusap. Huwag po ninyong papaapawin ang baso. Please lang.

mukhang rindi na ata ang staff nila sa pagpunas at pag-mop sa mga natatapong makukulay na yelo. dahan-dahn ako sa pagpindot para lumabas ang kulay pink at malagkit na (yum) slurpee at nanigurado na may isang sentimetrong distansya sa pagitan ang dulo ng cup at ang ng slurpee.

nagpunta ako sa counter. people watcher ako kaya ang tatlong tao sa pila sa harapan ko ang napagdiskitahan kong panoorin habang nagbabayad sila. hotdog. napkin. kulay orange na slurpee. at mabenta ang slurpee. mainit nga naman sa labas. nang ibaba ko na ang slurpee sa glass counter para magbayad, ampowtah, overflowing ang pink sa kamay ko, sa lapag, at sa salamin. parang buhay ang slurpee na lumaki bila ng isang pulgada at naungusan ang height ng baso gaya ni erap kay villar sa survey.

anong sabi ko kay kuyang cashier?

"Hala kuya! Hindi yan ganyan kanina! Mag-isang lumalabas yung slurpee nyo sa baso!"

tinginan ang mga tao. defensive?

at bakit nga ba ayaw ng pink na slurpee sa baso nito? dahil ba ito ay kulay blue?

No Badge Allowed

Gaano kakurakot ang Pilipino? Tuwing makikita ko ang isang notice na nakabalandara sa may bungaran ng mga bus sa Maynila, napagtatanto ko kung gaano talaga kakurakot ang mga Pilipino. "No Badge Allowed." Nakapintura. Nakabaybay sa mga plastik na letra. Permanente. Mahirap mabura. Kelan nga ba naging permanente sa atin ang pangungurakot? At kelan kaya ito mabubura?

no way i'm taking this lying on my back with legs spread open

seriously?

why can't i just get rid of this blog?
three things: i never open my friendster at all anymore; i still wouldn't create a facebook account; i try my best to stay away from yahoomail (cause they got freaking IMing embedded on it and i just dont like talking to people who talk back to me) - all tha shit and i STILL keep coming back to this page. i see an alert on gmail that some internet stray left a comment on one of my posts in starving and i get all grinny (that's a word i invented btw). everyFUCKINGtime. and then i go and delete the message because i wanna see the comment in here just for old time's sake and lo and behold, the comment goes:




and then i go WTF?! that blows on so many levels. damn. at least i guess i should be glad it isn't some ad for erectile dysfunction pill or something. yeah. that and the fact that this series of assholean comments left on my precious precious blog somehow made me want to come back here and defend it from substandard assholean terrorism. ahh. assholean. i really am back.