erratic

adj.
1. irregular in performance, behaviour, or attitude; inconsistent and unpredictable

mercurial. fickle. a walking mood-swing.

erratic [ɪˈrætɪk]

two letters away from erotic.

some miley for me

I've got my sights set on you,
And I'm ready to aim,
I have a heart that will,
Never be tamed,
I knew you were something special
When you spoke my name,
Now, I can't wait to see you again...

~~~~~~~~~~~
fine, yeah, it's a little schoolgirly to listen to this but, damn, the words are stinging harshly it's goooooood.

What. It’s love, not Santa Claus.

Script from 500 Days of Summer

[Tom’s Co-worker:] So do you have a boyfriend?

[Summer:] No. Who needs it? We’re young, might as well have fun while we can.

[Tom:] Wait. What happens if you fall in love?

[Summer:] Love. You don’t believe in that. Do you?

[Tom:] What. It’s love, not Santa Claus.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i am loving this film. sigh.

practice mode

so yeah, max is supposed to be in practice mode right now. super.

mucky, wet things

dear miss: may i take the rest of the day off? i know it's just 10:30 but, see,
i'm up to my knees wet and my shoes and socks are soaked and my feet
feel grossly squilchy and i just can't stand it. i think i'm even
catching a faint whiff of my dilemna right now. i could take my
shoes and socks off but i'm afraid the whole floor's gonna smell
like a shoe in no time and we just can't have that, can we? so yeah,
may i have the rest of the day off, please? i'm close to losing it
here and i think i may need to buy some socks and a pair of flops
and another pair of shoes to calm myself down. also, we have a
family history of arthritis and i don't think it's healthy for me,
or anyone, for that matter, to spend a whole day with my feet
wrapped up in mucky, wet things. please?

If I could say what I want to say, I'd say I want to blow you...away

Avril Lavigne's "Things I'll Never Say"

it's the first time i heard this today and i'm TLMAO, it's sounds such a nice song!

If I could say what I want to say

I'd say I want to blow you

...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight?
If I could see what I want to see

I want to see you go down

...on one knee
Marry me today
Guess I'm wishing my life away
With these things I'll never say

i want to see you go down... on me -- that's more like it, no?

bonggang application letter para sa posisyong hindi ko naman kinabagsakan

A mighty stroke of luck it was. Props to me and my pompous, awesome self.

Oh, yes, in the world of emoticons, I was colon capital D.

- what's his face? that guy from The Big Bang Theory ?

java.net.ConnectException: Connection timed out: connect

so what the hell, right? i keep getting this exception



out of my program. the very same program that was running smoooooothly just the other freakin day. worse, there seems to be nothing on the net that helps. google beloved is failing me for the first time and it's all sorts of frustrating. i just don't get how a program could run one day and not the next. what the hell, right?

so i'm stopping this shit for a while and doing a maneuver a wise professor once taught me, one designed especially for trying times like this:

think happy thoughts

hmmm... maybe kristen bell could help. *kissy face*

oh, god here's another one!

ang kulit haha! ima go watch inception now!

drinking problem

from http://lolsnaps.com, a site i been sneaking peeks at whenever i fall into stupor at work.

scotty's accent is way annoying but whatever

just, some random shite:

* scotty's accent is way annoying but whatever i like him still. but sometimes it's more fun listening to disenchanted kingdom - cause those guys are just really entertaining. have you heard their latest ad? total gag haha :D

* i just saw mark manahan!

* i wonder if i am considered by others as a "fair weather friend." it would totally suck if they do. sigh.

* what's all the deal about charice and botox? people sure like to blow things up. and most of them aren't even photographers.

* people my age are ACTUALLY HAVING KIDS. damn. i don't think i have an opinion on that.

* i'm watching deathnote again. L is my wallpaper. the story is just awesome, i wish i could write something of that caliber someday. second sigh.

* my boss is so bait. no, that's not me sucking up.

* trend micro is the awesomest company ever. now, that's me sucking up.

* i wanna go to london. ate cel is kakainggit with all her photos. i totally TOTALLY would pick up the accent if i get there. it'll be bloody smashing.

* i wanna experience the 13-hour night shift because of the money.
because of all the bakasyon you get.
because i think it would be really interesting. :)

* paolo nutini... awww....

this is the time to say: "haist..."

wala daw kuryente samin sa pampanga bukas from 7am - 5pm. again, from 7-friggin-in-the-morning-am to 5-friggin-in-the-afternoon-pm. buti tinext ako ni tita ko sa pampanga dahil kamusta naman yun diba kung umuwi ako for the weekend, which i normally do, at buong araw lang na nagpapaypay ng sarili dahil ako, kahit umupo lang dyan at walang gawin e nagpapawis na parang sumali sa run for fun. electricity in our place sucks on so many levels. at naka-schedule talaga na mawawalan. the whole effing day. i can never see that happening in manila. ever. whatever. gtg.

yep, you're right, i've always wanted to talk with someone named alan walker on the phone

that, i just did.

Exempli gratia != id est. Damn, why didn't i know that?

When you mean “for example,” use e.g. It is an abbreviation for the Latin phrase exempli gratia. When you mean “that is,” use “i.e.” It is an abbreviation for the Latin phrase id est. Either can be used to clarify a preceding statement, the first by example, the second by restating the idea more clearly or expanding upon it. Because these uses are so similar, the two abbreviations are easily confused. If you just stick with good old English “for example” and “that is” you won’t give anyone a chance to sneer at you. If you insist on using the abbreviation, perhaps “example given” will remind you to use “e.g.,” while “in effect” suggests “I.E.”

Since e.g. indicates a partial list, it is redundant to add “etc.” at the end of a list introduced by this abbreviation.

Got this from one of the most sensible+helpful site there ever was:

http://www.wsu.edu/~brians/errors/errors.html#errors

Thanks, Paul Brians. You're in my Top 8, and I am already blogging about this. I bookmarked your page, btw.

write once, run anywhere

  j2ee   ejb   entity bean   stateful   stateless 

   active messaging queue   jdbc   weblogic   fifo 

 mbeans   persistence   remote   local   topic 

  pojo   jndi   war   jar   servlet   annotation 

     xml   session   rmi   ant   deployment 

can you say drowning? pffft.

it's not me, it's you

So, I'm not really a fan of Allen but, wow, this song is full of angst and at the same time sounds so bubbly it's disturbing. Look it up.

FUCK YOU
Lily Allen

Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
So sick and tired of all the
Hatred you harbor

So you say
It's not okay to be gay
Well I think you're just evil
You're just some racist who
Can't tie my laces
Your point of view is medieval

Fuck you (Fuck you)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't translate
And it's getting quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Do you get,
Do you get a little kick out of
Being small minded?
You want to be like your father
It's approval you're after
Well that's not how you find it

Do you,
Do you really enjoy living a
Life that's so hateful?
Cause there's a hole where
your soul should be
You're losing control of it and
It's really distasteful

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
Translate and it's getting
Quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Look inside,
Look inside your tiny mind
Now look a bit harder
Cause we're so uninspired,
So sick and tired of all the
Hatred you harbor

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause we hate what you do
And we hate your whole crew
So please don't stay in touch

Fuck you (Fuck You)
Fuck you very, very much
Cause your words don't
Translate and it's getting
Quite late
So please don't stay in touch

Ha. My kinda song. Wish they'd sing it in GLEE :D

LEVERAGE + DAMAGES

can i just say, PARKER. is. PERFECT.

LEVERAGE. so i've only just got done with the first season, and i'm thanking the hand that led me to NOT buy it last year because NOW i can continue binging myself with non-stop episodes from season 2. man, i keep thinking veronica mars split into 5 persons. oh, and thank god for dvd players. and remote controls, as i keep replaying scenes when one or the other is lifting somebody else's wallet (or of parker's mightily disturbing antics.) and pirates, we can't forget the pirates.



DAMAGES. this was actually referred to me by emerald ages ago and only now that i decided on picking it up. i'm in the middle of the first season now and so far, it's awesome as hell. the story arc's got a john grisham feel to it, and john grisham is always good. plus the cast are just popping (and famous, too.) a super delayed thanks to ems for this one.



i've taken the backseat on tv series for a while now, ever since that cruel writer's strike way back that left me high and dry with old shows on hiatus and disappointed with new ones that just didn't meet the bar for me. but these two shows, i find, are well worth the wait.

friends

I got this off of facebook today:

They say true friends

can go long periods of time without

speaking and never question their

friendship. These types of friends

pick up just like they spoke

yesterday, regardless of how long it

has been or where they live.

this one i got off of urbandictionary.com:

friends

- (1) people who are there to make you wet yourself at the strangest moments, preferably someplace awkward.

Me: *something funny*
You: *wets pants from laughing too hard*
Stranger: they must be best friends.

right.

de-quoting

ignorance is bliss.

yeah, i don't believe this for one minute.

ignorance is bliss. you just don't know it yet.

now this i can definitely agree to. i mean, you can't truly appreciate not knowing until you actually start knowing. something that you are not aware of doesn't hurt you until you become painfully aware of it that you wish you hadn't been so hell bent on finding out what was going on. so yes, the quote is lacking it's most REAL part: ignorance is bliss. you just don't know it yet.

holler if you're getting me.

stupid places for rice refill and elmer's glue that smells extra good

The other day, I hit the mall right after sitting a job application exam. It finished at about noon so I figured I'd go munch and while away the hours before a job interview I was scheduled to have at 3:00 that same day (yes, at another company about 45 minutes away, and, yes, I like a hectic schedule.) I ordered some sort of misono-teriyaki dish at the foodcourt that came with free rice refill. I was thinking jackpot until I got my tray of food and set out to look for a seat nearby. Alas, nearby translated to 15 rows of seats away from the Japanese store where I ordered. The place was just damn too full of hungry people. I took my seat and never got up for refill. So much for jackpot.

I knew I had a lot of time to spare so I took dainty, dragging bites. Which, by the way, sucked gruesomely because I hated eating by myself. At 2:00, I decided I had time to dash to the supermarket to get new toiletries before heading out.

Two days laters, as I was grooming for (yet again) another interview, I opened the tub of clay I bought to put on my hair and... well, it wan't clay at all. The label said Fix Strong Hold and nothing else. I musta confused it with their clay product because they had the same packaging, but damn, this one didn't even say if it was gel, or wax, or what. I sighed and put the product in my hair anyway and it felt somewhat stupid. Like I just swabbed my hair with Elmer's Clear Glue that smelled extra nice. Maybe next time I should read the labels on stuff before actually buying them, no?

the new CS Website is the definition of a w e s o m e

kinda cool knowing i know people like these. spread the awesome, guys.



check out adamson compsci website: http://www.adamsoncompsci.com/

and the CS Webteam outdid itself with this new website's look. i gotta say, i miss being with the team. but i'm proud of all of you guys. props to all of ya!

can't decide which is better

this:

or this:


one thing for sure: conceit is a self-fulfilling trait. *sigh of contentment*

xOxO
mama ox bay

on blogs and being taken back

I have been running s t a r v i n g for 6 years now, on and off maintenance but it's all good. Nobody hangs on to every word I say anyway so I'm pretty sure I'm not disappointing anybody. And before you make something out of it, NO, there's no bitterness whatnot in that statement at all. Because, exactly like what the t-shirt says, "I dance to express, not to impress." Only, in my case, it's "write" instead of "dance" since I couldn't perform a twirl if my life depended on it. Although, curiously, I HAVE been asked once before if I was a dancer because of the way I was garbed. And that was in front of a whole assembly, mind. Anyway, I've put up another blog way back in '07 just for the fun of it. As of today it's got a total of 3 posts. One of them is just the lyrics to a song. How LAME is that? But no matter, I'm still keeping it. I'm sure it isn't just me who thinks so but it's fascinating to think of blogs as leaving your imprints in the world. Kind of like making marks in history - well, at least, YOUR history. Plus, it's very heart-warming to read the things you wrote in the past (no matter how sad or, in my case, disturbing the entries are) because you can't help but be transported back to that place when you wrote them. Reminiscing, I think, is the word for it.

http://themaxsyndrome.blogspot.com

This is the max syndrome, my other blog. I'm thinking of renaming it to mama ox bay - the best anagram of my name I could come up with.

John Mayer in the PI

topic: John Mayer concert on 1st Oct 2010 at MOA Concert Grounds (open air venue which truly just sucks)



the actual prices from TicketWorld:



the venue:



the question:
the Php600 is not much of an issue. i wouldve gone for a bronze seat even, though i don't much like being sat down at concerts. but fuck if i spend over an hour standing around sweaty JM fans in a non-air-conditioned venue IN THE HUMID HEAT OF THE PHILIPPINES squinting my eyes hard just to see him perform because the distance of the general admission area from the stage leaves my vision of him no bigger than my thumb.

the decision:
it's gonna be fun! see you at the concert!

it was fun while it lasted

it was naught but a fortnightful of self intoxication of half-complete words that are sensible only to 8086 computers compounded with bottomless cups of cafe latte and cold rootbeer, but now i find myself willing and wanting to experience the whole thing all over again. ampupu, bat ba ko nagiinglish?

basta. nakakahiya man na natanggal ako after only two weeks e masaya pa rin ang feeling at naranasan ko kahit papano yung ganung pamumuhay (at talagang pamumuhay daw.) shet nga lang dahil nakakamiss. mamimiss ko ang pantry (number 1!), ang mga exercises, ang pagdedebug, ang xor, ang macro, ang mga ampupung password na yan, ang mga patawa pag naaaning na, ang HAH! ang pagba-bypass, ang mga tao na nakasalamuha ko, ang elevator, ang scenic elevator (na wala namang kascenic scenic about), ung mga books, si manang, sila sir, sila kuya, si king, si nick, si doods at si mark. hay. pero ok lang. keep moving forward. that's about the best thing i got out of this whole deal, so cheers.

p.s.: willing po ako mag anti-spam, sa mga nakakarinig dyan oh

I'm fragile. I'm breakable. I'm your mother's fucking china.

Wuss. Pussy. Chicken-effing-shit.

I have never been called these words but with the way I've been dealing recently, "I deserve to be" is nothing short of an understatement. That is a huge enough deal coming from me.

Whoever started the saying "When god closes a door, he opens another" is a fucking moron. It's either that or god hates me (and since I'm pretty sure I don't believe in god, I'm sticking with the moron story.) Why? Because that last archetype of a door was kicked shut on face, broke my nose, and left me in a futile search for that promised ajar one. So far, all I have been knocking onto and into are walls. Tall, solid, constricting. Walls.

My head smarts. My eyes are hateful geysers. I am like a chibi manga person with a crestfallen expression that's less cuter and more piercingly real. I'm being followed by this hovering dark cloud and people not only see it but actually feel it, emanating from me, and I hate it because I can't get rid of it, but then I don't wanna get rid of it, and now I'm just ten kinds of depressing.

My friend had advised me to look forward to the future but I can't. I can't find that feeling that would make me want to. I'm too busy wallowing. I like wallowing. Because wallowing is good to me. I'm sorry but I took the liberty of bulleting the reasons of that:

* Wallowing is solitary and draining and does not require a schedule for tomorrow.
* Wallowing lets you miss class for a week and never throws questions that make you squirm in guilt about it.
* It doesn't scold you to quit moping or say that you're only option is to move on with your life.
* It is never gonna ask you if everything's alright because it already knows it isn't. It fucking isn't.

That's why wallowing is my friend.

Lord, I need therapy. More than once I rode the bus and thought that if there ever was a crash and I died - I wouldn't care. I'd not want lots of others to be harmed in the crash so I would prefer it if the impact was on my side of bus. (Oh, fuck. Writing this and just plain thinking about it are two totally different experiences.) Correct me if I'm mistaken but I think that my train of thought reaching the point where I even picked a place to sit on the theoretical bus qualifies me as psychotic bordering on suicidal. I do need a shrink, then. If only my family could afford it. If only I could own up to it. Why do I have to be the person that disintegrates at the first signs of failure? Why must I be him who loses determination when blocked with negativity? Him who gives up the fight as easily as butter to a knife? Yes, I'm fragile, I'm breakable. I'm your mother's fucking china.

wag paghinayangan ang slurpeeng natapon

nabili akong slurpee. may computer print-out sign na nakapaskil sa mismong slurpee machine:

Pakiusap. Huwag po ninyong papaapawin ang baso. Please lang.

mukhang rindi na ata ang staff nila sa pagpunas at pag-mop sa mga natatapong makukulay na yelo. dahan-dahn ako sa pagpindot para lumabas ang kulay pink at malagkit na (yum) slurpee at nanigurado na may isang sentimetrong distansya sa pagitan ang dulo ng cup at ang ng slurpee.

nagpunta ako sa counter. people watcher ako kaya ang tatlong tao sa pila sa harapan ko ang napagdiskitahan kong panoorin habang nagbabayad sila. hotdog. napkin. kulay orange na slurpee. at mabenta ang slurpee. mainit nga naman sa labas. nang ibaba ko na ang slurpee sa glass counter para magbayad, ampowtah, overflowing ang pink sa kamay ko, sa lapag, at sa salamin. parang buhay ang slurpee na lumaki bila ng isang pulgada at naungusan ang height ng baso gaya ni erap kay villar sa survey.

anong sabi ko kay kuyang cashier?

"Hala kuya! Hindi yan ganyan kanina! Mag-isang lumalabas yung slurpee nyo sa baso!"

tinginan ang mga tao. defensive?

at bakit nga ba ayaw ng pink na slurpee sa baso nito? dahil ba ito ay kulay blue?

for what it's worth, it was worth all the while

In life, there would be times when the unexpected beats the hell out of the best laid plans - or something to that effect. Now, I have known about this quote for forever but only truly figured it out quite recently.

Just about everyone in my thesis group didn't plan on doing the preliminary defense and breeze through it, but we did. I didn't plan on forming the strongest of bonds with them the few times we've brought the work to my place, but I did. I didn't plan on being surrounded by an overwhelming number of amazing people on graduation day, but I was. I certainly never planned on, ^{nor even slightly expected, to be frank,} my last semester in school being the best one in all my college years, but it is.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that the security of having plans, no matter how grand and intricate and prudent you design them, sometimes pales in comparison to the joys the unexpected brings.

hair and beef jerky don't mix

OMFG, there's a hair strand in my jerky! What is up with this day? First I am almost late for my job application exam EVEN after leaving home an hour and a half before call time, then I get a 25 out of 38 in that evil IQ test I had to sit (curse those shape sequencing questions), and now there's fucking hair in my food. Why does the world hate me?

^{(lengthier than most)} PS. I'm in some fast food joint and there's a crying couple a few tables from mine. Like a literally tear-streaked-bloodshot-eyes crying couple. The guy shouts surreptitiously at the girl and then suddenly says solemnly, "I love you. Pero tuwing ginagawa mo un..." and trails off like he's too overcome with emotion to continue and I just want to grab both of them by the neck and throw them out the third storey window behind me. A little belligerent, yes, but, seriously, there's nothing worse than having to listen to a couple air out their dirty laundry while trying to fill the void in your stomach left by an unflattering IQ exam score with beef jerky that is bound to leave parts of itself in your teeth without you realizing it until too late. Well... OK, finding out there's hair from some unknown person's head in the jerky sure tops that.

No Badge Allowed

Gaano kakurakot ang Pilipino? Tuwing makikita ko ang isang notice na nakabalandara sa may bungaran ng mga bus sa Maynila, napagtatanto ko kung gaano talaga kakurakot ang mga Pilipino. "No Badge Allowed." Nakapintura. Nakabaybay sa mga plastik na letra. Permanente. Mahirap mabura. Kelan nga ba naging permanente sa atin ang pangungurakot? At kelan kaya ito mabubura?

not an editorial, but worth posting anyways

mahaba ito. prepare yourselves.

weeks ago, maam raqs asked if i could make an editorial for the team's newsletter. about the year the team had, its first year as an org, mga ganun. they needed it by 5pm that day. nareceive ko yung text 4:30. so in under 30 minutes (kasi hindi naman ako masyadong time pressured kay maam hehe) and what rules in editorial writing i could salvage from my distant days of technical writing in the past, eto ang kinalabasan (na sadly, hindi pa rin umabot ng deadline haha):

The CS Webteam started out in of 2007. Back then all it was aimed to accomplish was to put up and run the website for Adamson’s Computer Science Department. The team was a small group of students believed to be choice ones in the field. A group that had high hopes of making it. Two years later and a whole basilica of changes, the CS Webteam has been strapping itself with the necessary arms on its first year as an RSO. Faces were changed, rules were revisioned, new ideas were put to the table.

A lot of challenges has started hailing our way since before June when we finally got the thumbs up for recognition. It hasn’t at all been easy for anyone – from the adviser to the last person in the ranks – but the team, I should say, holds on. We may falter but we get right back up and promise ourselves to do better the second time around. Proof of that would have to be the continuous success of activities that the team has been organizing (and agonizing over) the last few months. They may be far from winning best event awards but we are proud to have been the ones that made them possible. Yes, we are proud. Of the achievements we made. Of the goals we met. Of the plans we continue making to better our fellow students. Lastly, of surviving the year that was.

A congratulatory pat on the back to everyone who lost sleep over this team. Keep on keeping on, CS Webteam.