Apung Gari

On her birthday a few years back, my grandmother had told us that the one thing she asks the lord was to let her reach 80 years old before she keeled over and died. She was a fairly healthy lady at 70+ so we only thought of her little death wish as silly.

Now, t's been a fortnight and some since we, the fam, buried lola. I won't speak for the rest of us but I can't say I didn't expect this happening. I mean, she was 81 and all. And she kept making visits to the hospital these past months, a little more than her doctors liked. Or, admittedly, we, for that matter. Seems like lola got her wish.

I don't know, but remembering lola, for me, is better if I thought about those days when she wasn't glued to her bed, like she had been most times the couple of weeks before she let go. It's definitely a lot less depressing if I think back to the lola that had virtually no qualms in saying antak in front an eight-year-old with a booming voice that carried through six houses past ours. Or the lola who wanted her daughter to bring her back some "stainless" longganisa from the market. Or the lola who, while waiting in a semi-classy restaurant for a table to be free, would sit down at another's and make chitchat with total strangers like they were friends since World War II. Yeah, my lola could be a piece of work if she wanted to. People LOVED her for that. I still do, matter of fact. I wish I had her guts. The kind of wit and humor and charm that she had.

Lola never got mad at me. At least, as far as I remember. But why would she? I was the favorite apo! No offense to my brothers and Jovane (only cousin) but this IS a fact. I mean, is Keannu Reeves queer or what? Being the second grandchild, I grew up being lolo's "adopted kid". I slept in their house, in their bed every (and I really do mean every) night. The wooden balcony in front of their house was my sandbox. When I haven't started school yet, Lola would take me to frequent trips to Manila (we lived in Pampanga), and in a few years I'd find myself grateful to her whenever on a bus trip and my brothers got motion-sickness and I didn't (and, my, wasn't I proud). I'd present my back at night to lolo and refuse to sleep till he scratched it to my satisfaction, or until his arm gets all dead.

When lolo died, I clung to lola. She'd tell me tons of stories about her experiences in life and I'd be left bizarred out of my wits by the time she finished. Her stories were always entertaining, no matter how many times I've heard them, and I was more than happy to listen for I could tell that when she tells these, she fondly relives all of the memories. Much like I am now.

I miss my lola.

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For the only grandparents I ever knew:

When it rains it pours and opens doors
And floods the floors we thought would always keep us safe and dry
And in the midst of sailing ships we sink our lips into the ones we love
That have to say goodbye

And as I float along this ocean
I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go

Cause when I look to the sky something tells me you're here with me
And you make everything alright
And when I feel like I'm lost something tells me you're here with me
And I can always find my way when you are here

- Train