Sunday, February 11, 2007

im locked out. ive my room key with me, a gate key too. but i dont have no fuckin main-door key. i went through being pissed, desperate and bored

in a matter of minutes. i mentally beat myself up to death for being the scatter brain of scatter brains. god i hate feeling stupid. ive never wanted to be NOT lucid before this my entire life. and i fuckin smell like some chainsmoker's ashtray. way unrighteous.

i am hungry.
although i have the option to eat someplace here, i just dont have the sheer will needed to complete such task. ive been on-line since the first wee hour of the morning in this ill-stationed internet cafe and i still have an hour at the very least to waste away on surfing for guitar chords, updating starving, and watching manny poohquiao do his outrageous monologues down at youtube. thank god for internet cafes. and thank god that some of them are actually open 24/7.

nalipasan na ko ng gutom.
see, i cant even begin to ponder the english transalation of that. nagutom ako, nalipasan ako, nagutom ako ulit. shit.
i am now scornfully stupidly hungrily regretting my decision of not joining axis' way over the head fun group over at malate. hey teng, would you mind saving your 'i told you so's till next week? thanks. oh and hi to all them cool people i hung out with tonight.

oddly, i dont feel any pull of drowse at all.
i have been officially up for 20 hours. at this point my mind wanders to a quirkily made up illusion where i am having one heated conversation with cristina yang about who did the most hours of duty this week. meredith enters to break the fight. whoakay. enough of the crazy talk.

my night was a blast (until i got off jason's car and realized my huge moronic mistake).
twas troy's band suicidal genius' gig at mayric's tonight. might i say they were the best among all those bands i heard tonight. theirs was definitely refreshing after all that overdose of growling throats, male and female, mind you, that did nothing more than hurt the ear. ok im being biased and the strings and drums werent half that bad, but growls? they arent really the kind of vocals i enjoy listening to.

sigh. the fray's how to save a life is real soothing to the senses when youre stressed.
fuck, im way beyond stressed now. there aint no mirror around but ill bet the life of the person beside me (he's playing silly games on yahoo, the poor insomniac) that i look like shit. motherfucking horse shit. lay down on the dirt words bubba.
great, now im talkin to myself.
no youre not.
fucking yes i am.
stop that shit. no youre not.
you freak, im talking to you now, arent i?
huh? oh.. right. *sheesh* at least its just me thats --
shut it already!

No comments: